Wednesday, 4 June 2008

A nice cup of tea and a sit down


Early summer time has yet again failed to emerge from the rain and greyness... a litre of petrol costs nearly as much as an inflated cup of Starbucks... House prices are falling, but where have all the mortgages gone?

Gordon Brown's morose frown says it all, really.

But when the going gets tough, the tough have a nice cup of tea and a sit down.

Forget patriotic wars, classy manners and stout resolution, what Britain is really good at is shutting out the gloom with a brew and a biscuit.

According to a 2007 survey, the custard cream is the UK's favourite biscuit choice.

The BBC's most emailed article today? "Biscuits 'key to cinching business deals'."

In the cut throat corporate world, four out of five businesses claim that this snack choice can make or break a deal, with chocolate digestives showing most promise, followed by shortbread and hobnobs.

When it comes to tea drinking, I have to butt in here and state thata good strong Yorkshire brew is probably the best you're going to get.

So, the fact that someone's set up A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit Down website, I was moved and inspired to dedicate this entry to the most satisfying and British of pastimes.

Picture courtesy of Nicey, www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com

Tuesday, 15 April 2008

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Tut tut TfL


Log onto the Transport for London website and prepare to to be visually assaulted with squiggly maps, tables, fare guidelines and small print.

Since the dawn of ken's beloved Oyster cards it's no wonder the staff themselves don't seem sure of ticket costs these days.

But discounted price capping seems to be something that TfL is keeping very hushed up indeed.

A daily limit on travel costs for railcard holders applies to all TfL travel, for anoyone holding a disabled, forces, senior and I'm guessing most relevant to most of you who will be reading this, young persons railcard.

The blurb all basically means 34% off travel when you top up your Oyster with a valid railcard.

That's a third; meaning travelling off peak (after 9.30pm) will cost you a minute £3.20.

This compares rather favourably to the £4 it costs for just two journeys to central London from Harrow.

No wonder they're not going overboard on the PR campaign for this one.

Student Oyster cards also cut a third off travel, but only for season tickets of a week and over, and that's not to mention the initial £10 fee.

A 7 day season ticket which gets you from Harrow to zone 1 will set you back £24.20 - 7 days' off peak travel capped with a railcard comes to £22.40.

You do the maths there, TfL already have.

I'd urge anyone who thinks they'd make use of discounted capping to join this facebook group and spread the word.

Artwork courtesy of www.leinz.co.uk

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

F is for...

Flamingo, of course - although I know you were all thinking Fran...

My blogging's link to current affairs is all getting a little tenuous, I know.

But caught between writing nothing thanks to lack of inspiration, and writing about the first thing I thought of, I plumped for the latter.

So, Flamingos.

"Gregarious wading birds in the genus Phoenicopterus and family Phoenicopteridae. They are found in both the Western and Eastern Hemispheres, but are more numerous in the former. There are four species in the Americas while two exist in the Old World. Two species, the Andean and the James's Flamingo, are often placed in the genus Phoenicoparrus instead of Phoenicopterus."

That's according to Wikipedia, if you're still with me.

If not however, you may be interested in the following:

Why are they pink?
The bird's characteristic pink hue is caused by beta carotene consumed regularly in the form of shrimp and blue-green algae (don't ask me about the colour change there).

Flamingos are not born pink though, oh no. They hatch with fluffy grey plumage, which develops into pink as their diet expands to include pigments.

Healthy, well fed flamingos are vibrantly coloured and have more sex appeal.

More shockingly, it turns out that many zoo-captive flamingos are in fact fake-pinks! They are commonly fed with the additive canthaxanthin (this is also often given to farmed salmon. Ew.)


Why do they hop?
Flamingos frequently stand on one leg, but the reason for this is not completely clear.

One theory is that they tuck one leg up to conserve body heat; another to prevent both legs from getting wet.

Flamingos often jump up and down, stamping their webbed feet to stir up food from the riverbed.

And how can they even stand on those twig legs?
Webbed feet, apparently.

Flamingos also have a ritualised set of collective displays, kind of like synchronised swimming or ribbon waving, which occur around breeding time.



Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Confessions


The 'confessions' page on the Gumtree listings website is, quite simply, amazing.

Full of horrifying, twisted and comfortingly mundane thoughts and secrets.

You couldn't get more drama from an episode of Eastenders.

Better out than in, that's what I say.

A few from today...

Brother Sister Bra Knickers
My brother takes and wears my underwear (I am his sister). He doesn't know that I know that he does it when I am out. (Or maybe he knows.) He likes to wear my bras, knickers, camisoles, stockings, slips and nighties. I don't mind. Have any other women had your brothers (or anybody else) taking and wearing your underwear... Does it bother you? I must confess that it does not bother me. I am very close to my younger brother.

How the poo did the police know I was using haulage diesel?
Well, my friends father owns a haulage company and his son (my mate same age 21) is a truck driver. His father allows me to use haulage diesel for free to use it in my normal diesel car engine (Nissan). There isnt much difference betwen normal car diesel and haulage diesel. Car diesl is blue and haulage diesel is dyed pink. Also haulage diesel gives off black smoke and car deisel is pretty much nothing.

The Police have pulled me over and rolled out toilet paper down my fuel tank and it came out pink. I was charged for not paying tax...?

Even weirder...I swore a few times in shock when I was told off and when I was in Court, the witness (Police officer) read out what I said and swore. I did'nt know you could swear in court. I had to pay £1000 fine as well plus £20,000 for ignoring Highways Agency Enforcement COntravention Notice twice.

Its not very nice is it. I'm a Chinese man.

I cant believe she is pregnant.how could she be so stuid.
OK, here is the deal.

Met a girl 4 years ago that blew me away. I've had lots of girlfriends over the years (i'm 31) but not like her. She is amazing, sexy, funny, smart and my best friend. We shared the best four years of my life and she was definately the one. So, I had to go to New Zealand for 8 weeks as my mum was ill (i've been here 10 years) and she couldn't come because she had to work. My mum got better and I had a brilliant time with my family and I decided that I was going to ask her to marry me when i got back, even bought the ring.....life was good. Anyway, i get back to London and she was away in Belgium for a week with work so didn't see her until a week later but we spoke on the phone and she seemed a bit weird. I picked her up from the airport and she burst into tears but I thought it was because she was happy to see me........how fuc*ing wrong was I.

She said she needed to talk to me so we got home and went to the pub and instead of the usual wine she asked for a soft drink. With this and the look on her face it hit me like a cricket bat to the face. We sit down and she tells me she is 6 weeks pregnant. She said she got really drunk three weeks after I left and ended up sleeping with a guy she used to go to school with and that she doesn't remember how they got into bed but she was mortifed in the morning and deply regrets it. She begged me not to split up with her but i was so gobsmacked I couldn't think of anything to say. I moved out of our flat the next day to her absolute dispair but what am I supposed to do?

I can't beleive she could be so stupid, Of course i'm not happy she slept with another bloke but to get pregnant is another matter. She is not the type for an abortion so is keeping it.

I am totally gutted and angry with everyone and everything at the moment. This guy, a stranger to me is going to be in her life forever now, why, why, why. I'm so frustrated that there is nothing i can do and I'm really struggling to accept this. This was 3 weeks ago and I can't see her because it kills me to look at her. I know she is hurting too but this situation is not my fault and I realy don'tknow what to say to her. The girl i'm totally in love with is pregnant with another mans baby.... For fuc* sake

Anyone been in this situation? Any ideas at this point would be.....well, interesting.

No moronic bullsh!t thank you.

Wednesday, 2 January 2008

Walter Sickert's Camden Nudes

To hide my lack of blogging , I'm recycling some of my assessed articles from last term - this is a review of Sickert's Camden Nudes at London's Courtauld Gallery.

In summary, I'd recommend a visit. The Courtauld is tucked away behind Somerset House and is a beautiful building packed with works by Gauguin, Cezanne and many other well known artists. And it's free for students (and everyone else on a Monday till 2pm).

London’s Courtauld Institute is home to scores of innocent Renaissance ladies, finely dressed wives and a virginal Eve.

The Courtauld is currently showing Walter Sickert’s Camden Town Nudes, an eye raising departure from its more traditional exhibits.

The ornately framed oils, pastels and sketches have been curated into one compact, windowless room, which suits the artist’s shadowy tones.

Viewed as a whole, Sickert’s murky snapshots are a muddle of sordid sexuality and feminine elegance.

But look closer and be startled by his forensic eye for detail.

Sickert flouted the prim Victorian sexual codes, which ruled London into the early 1900s, attracting a lot of attention in the process.

While impressionists depicted the new bourgeoisie in idyllic countryside, Sickert scratched away the veneer of high society by painting its darker side.

His prostitutes’ expensive shoes and ladylike bonnets, are flung on the floor, or found amongst crumpled bed sheets, in seedy bed-sits.

It’s hard not to suspect that secrets are lurking beneath the bedclothes and under the floorboards.

In one painting, a finely suited gentleman sits on the edge of a bed in the foreground, head bowed, a naked woman sprawled behind him.

The woman may be sleeping peacefully, if her neck wasn’t twisted at such an awkward angle.

Is the man’s head bowed in adulterous guilt, or could it be murder?

Sickert’s provocative approach becomes all the more apparent in his famous ‘Camden Murder’ paintings.

Shown together here for the first time since 1911, these four controversial pieces are likely to be the exhibition’s major draw.

Based upon the murder of Camden prostitute Emily Dimmock in 1907, Sickert’s ‘Murder’ paintings have led to much speculation linking him to Jack the Ripper.

Whether Sickert painted clues into paintings such as ‘Jack the Ripper’s Bedroom,’ is impossible to know.

Seeing these graphic works in the flesh though, it’s easy to understand why crime author Patricia Cornwell and others have spent huge amounts of time and money investigating Sickert’s intentions.

The ‘Murder’ paintings pose a lot of questions, but answer none, except that Sickert seems to have been infatuated with the women he painted.

Monet, Degas and Cézanne painted the lighter side of society, but Sickert depicted his prostitutes with just as much grace and poise.

No wonder then, that his creations appalled those who first saw them – Sickert places his prostitutes on pedestals, portraying their femininity and fragility over their reputation.

Even a gore-swamped, Hirst-numbed generation of art fans will find it hard to remain unaffected by Sickert’s naked honesty and chilling suggestiveness.

Camden Nudes is showing until January 20 at the Courtauld Gallery. All pictures courtesy of www.courtauld.ac.uk

Googling faineant

If google's information-mining omnipotence is the future then I'm most certainly doomed.

Happy new year...

I can't help but be led astray each time google's 'quote of the day' or 'word of the day' flashes up on my gmail account.

It has led to more procrastination than I thought was possible - and by my track record, that's a lot.

But it's the 2nd of January so buoyed up by the promise of a whole new year to sink my teeth into, this is what the oracle of google.com has to say today...

Word of the day (just for me)

Faineant: doing nothing; idle; also, a do-nothing.

Quote of the day

"We are what we believe we are. " C.S. Lewis.

So now I've defined my (former) feignant self, I just have to start believing I'm a media law genius, to stand me in good stead for our impending exam.

Well it's more proactive and less fatalistic than horoscopes.